Sunday, April 15, 2007

i am confuse

well.. it’s been a while again since the last time i posted sumting here in dis blog.. kinda miss sumkind of blogging things but i couldn’t help it..u know how fast life past by this days.. having sum kind of break is kinda wierd.. u take a break and u lost sumthing, sum how i wonder the words dats better used for this phrase, u dun work u lost money.. hahaha…

it’s happen to me actually, rite now i’m still busying spending my dad and mum money but stil i can’t see wat i spent for.. i dun ever try to look for money, i miss da day i work.. da day i’m dun ever think twice of spending my money.. i miss dat so much!! now, da only things i do is thinking where i can earn money by not doin things i supposed to do.. gosh!! i miss home so much.. i wanna go back to the time where i decided to make this wrong choice.. why does when u can choose the right things to choose but still u choose wisely and make a wrong decisions? i’ve experience dat alot.. so much of it until i can’t even count~

for example, i dun even know in da first place why i decided to meet sumbody i know from dis website and the only things i know, i’m in luv wit dat person.. and soon after dat, i’m rushing dat person and dat person said to me dat we need time to know each other, which is fine wit me.. like the song of first lady, never be replace.. ‘baby i luv u, and i never let u go.. but if i had to, boy i think dat u should know.. all the luv we made, can never be erase.. and i promise u dat u never be replaced..’ dis songs is really nice, when i heard it for da 1st time, da only song i really want to hear is dis song..

still, i chuz dat person to be wit even though dat person hurt me.. gosh, it’s never can imagine the hurt u felt when u r rejected.. haha, i dun know wat should i feel now, i dun know wat should i do.. i dun know da best to do.. accepting dat person into my life? or back to the track where i decided to change da lane and follow the wrong one.. why can’t us decide da best choice? still we chuz to hurt ourselves and when u r hurt, u’ll be on the sides of tears and painfull..

i can say to my fren, be hard and dun spoil ur tears for the person u think is u lover.. but, still i can’t help.. i miss my mum, da time i spent wit her.. makes me forgot all the troubles i got.. even da bigest one, still if i’m on da side of my mum, i can smile and forget da problems.. i miss my hardworking dad, the rock-side of his long hair.. miss him so much, miss da time of seing him on our yard gardening.. miss my little brother an his rm1800 handphone he got for getting a gud result in pmr.. da simple way to say is i miss HOME~ i wanna go back home, but still i’m here.. stuck wit my own ego and my wise decision.. stupid me rite?

but sumhow, i can say is staying here is da change for me to live on my own.. i’m gonna start to look for money.. dun mind where as long as i can have money to live with asking help again from my mum.. huhu

gosh, i’m so confuse rite now..

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