Saturday, November 10, 2007

Loneliness Is Tragical..

'loneliness is tragical..' ever wondered where i got inspiration for that? well, after a while being alone, with nobody to talks to.. you'll find the loneliness is the purest of pain aside of the tragical things.. lots of thing happened around me, sometimes i don't even can say anything other than keep in silence, let the truth come by it self.. i blamed my self for all of this, i always saying this is my big ever mistakes..

actually i miss my mom alot.. so much than i can ever imagine, i miss the moment i share my feelings with my mom, share my secrets to her.. but now i'm here, i don't even have somebody to talk to.. i call my mom, and i suddenly cry, that the time where i realize i miss my mom so much.. it's hard being here, but somehow.. it's an experience, which i think i never can learn if i stay back in my hometown.. i've learned to not to believe people smile at you and can assumed that person is a good person.. well, it's kl dude!! you're on a battle to survive here.. it's on your own..

money also is an important things for you to survive in this crowded places.. owh, i can say here money is your roleplay, you've got the money than you're the king.. but if you don't, don't you ever dare to dream of being somebody friends.. yeah, it's true.. i miss the time where we can say 'happy together, sad together..' moments.. i still remember how the society looked at me when i'm jobless, gosh i hate to live that moment so much.. the way they talk, sometimes i think i wanna to just jump in the middle of the highway and let somebody hit me.. haha, how silly my imagination..

i talked to my dad also.. he said about buying me a car or what so ever, but i think i still not ready to pay something that much~ gosh i missed the moment i sit on his side and watching him gardening.. i missed my father beautiful and peaceful garden infront of our home in KK, i miss my father cats, which i don't know how much he got today.. haha..

hmm, forget to talk with my little brother.. i tried to imagine how was him this days.. the last time i saw him was on the day i came here, which still tall than me but skinny.. somehow, my mom said my little brother body kinda tough and not skinny anymore.. hmm, how can i win a fight with him? i still remembered last year my father bought him a set of body builder set, well.. it's kinda funny when my father blocked at the departure hall because bringing something that 'to hurt somebody' things in the plane.. but lucky him, my dad manage to bring that things on flight and bring back to him as his 15th birthday..

last raya was the first time i'm not around the family.. well, another new experience for me also.. haha, being far of the family help me to grow up? naaahhh!!! hell no!!! i think i've being more childish than i ever was.. hahaha~ people claim that i'm a stubborn person.. well, do i? i've been thinking of that alot.. hahaha, i think i just following the flow of the weird culture here.. but they still said that i'm not following the flow, i've try my best to be in the society and be part of the culture..

well, i think all said and done.. the only things right now is to go with flow, expect the unexpected and live the way you want to live, as long as you happy with your life.. just go on with your mistakes because we're not perfect.. hahaha.. peace~

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