Wednesday, October 21, 2009



The journey of life will lead you to different path of life. At this point, you'll think that you're on the safe side of the road and be so comfortable with it. The next seconds, you'll realized that you're on the downside of the wheel, upside down. At that moment, you'll missed all the time when you can swing this life all the way you like.

They claimed they call it as an EXPERIENCE.

I often mentioned about my dissatisfaction of life. I did realize that after I've posted last few post in my blog. Life wasn't easy for me these day, especially when have to face to many changes in a short time. Everything just change so drastically while I wasn't expecting for it. I do remember reminding all of you that to expect the unexpected, but I forgot to remind myself. I'm still me, being that little innocent boy that still having fun and hoping for a stick of candy in the end of the day.

After work today, I met my colleague at mamak restaurant around SS15, Subang Jaya. We chat a few topic before I found out few thing that really makes me shocked. First, he got a new job. Then, no more Canon EOS 40D. New PDA phone. What else?

I'm stunned. No words can express my feeling. Excited, happy, sad, everything was just mixing up. I didn't expect this to happened. It's a lie if I wasn't have any jealousy at all. If you asking me the same question the few years back, you'll have the different answer. I'll do the same job that can fly, and at the same time, travel around the world. But, my future didn't lead me to that happy ending. I'm still stuck under the same roof, the same air to breathe which I'm proudly say that I achieved first goal of my life. Honestly, I do have that regret these day but still I've gone this far of the journey of life, the way I chose few years back.

Somehow, I'm totally admiring him for being brave to leave his comfortable zone and take this risk to achieve his dream at time of age. Isn't that what society often said 'satisfaction'? Or is it just for the sake of having fun and travel around the world?. I have a friend, that currently working with the government that dare to quit his job for a cabin crew position. I still remember how badly I screamed when he mentioned about it and I do remember saying how stupid he was if he decided to accept the offer. I haven't talk with him until today by then. It was just a silly point of mistake.

At this point of time, for sure it's better to quit being so negative. No point to raised it as an issue, let it just be a like today's paper front hot story. Soon, I'll might forget what ever happened, like it use to be and wait for a better things to happen tomorrow. Lets try to be more supportive, let them feel the satisfaction. It's their life. Either bad or worst, they are still part of our life, which we proudly memorized them as our friend.

My friend, I've told you this before, and I think I've to repeat this twice, make me proud of you. Sky's the limit for those who dare to dream.


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Amirul Faizan

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Forgotten Promises


Few things happened lately on my busy day to catch of this fast growing society. I just slow me that much until I think that I was to far behind. Believe me, at the moment of my interview session, I commonly said that I'll be able to furnished my self with a minimum supervision. Honestly, I've lied. It was just my attention to get the assignment.

I always want attention of the society. I do assume that I'm being ignored and left alone at the corner of that empty room. I'm so scared. I want my life to be full of joy and happiness. Will I get that? Will I achieve everything that always be on my dream?

Keep on thinking that I make my self a foolish guy.

I still remember when I was on the top side of the wheel. I was on the track that I've always dream of when it was suddenly ripped of from me. It was so hurt but luckily I managed to catch up. It was just not that easy. I felt like I'm learning to walk again.

I keep on saying that I managed to recover but to be honest I wasn't. I've disappointed everyone. I just knew it. My score card effected, dropping from the great rating to below expectation. It was just not me. I still need that help and I don't think I've recover that much.


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Monday, October 12, 2009

Dealing With Destiny

LIFE is a words that full of unexpected things to happen. It totally makes me scared. Why? For some reason, I afraid that I wasn't able to accept the fact of life that I'm hurt with the fate of destiny. Without or with my realization, the tears fall from my eyes, just because of the fact that I'm unable to accept.

I admit that I'll cry sometimes. Being alone around the society which I wasn't really familiar, it just a very tough thing for me. Today I'm standing beside this person and tomorrow I realize that I'll be walking with another person. It just keep on changing until I realize that I'm running to catch the step the person I want to be.

It wasn't really easy.

People do mistakes. Did they learn something from it? Or did they just ignored it? Ask yourself either you appreciate the person you love or you just being someone that doing the routine of life? Wake up, go to work, hanging around, eat and drink, went to sleep and start all over again? Isn't that too normal? Isn't the society said that being normal is boring? Isn't that being different considered to be WEIRD?

Sometimes I don't really understand what the society really want. Should I keep my mouth shut or should I scream for them to realize my existance? Should I tell them how was I really-really feel inside my heart? Didn't they realize that I'm hurt with all of they decisions?

Did you say you love that person today?

P/S : Picture taken on Sham suprise birthday party. Sorry for the picture quality.

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Monday, October 05, 2009

The Theory Of My Life

Few issue raised up lately. First is MONEY, second is contract renewal. Third is friendship, are you a best friend of mine or what so ever and many other things. Somehow, I become a bit 'perasan' that people like me, want to hangout with me and to let me live my life around happily without any jealousy or 'back-talk'.

FACT : This is the life my dear, the things is damn normal.

So, I did assume that I've forget the first rule of life. Which is 'Mouth can't never be SHUT off'. My God, why everything that I've told you and I've mark as SECRET, and a big secret is spread out like it was a very hot story of the day? Damn I hate you so much! But, thank you for the bad popularity.

Anyhow, did I mention about being so bitch? I didn't, rite?

It might be you, and so you, but please don't make it to CLEAR for others to view. It's just a simple rule of life. Cute = Nice, Bitch = FUCKER!! I've forgive you (Damn I'm so perasan this time), but I'll never forget.

Fact #2 : I've new Guardian Angel.

Is that EVEN a fact?

For the first time ever, when I ask a person of this 'do you really know me?', I got the direct answer 'YES'. I asked again 'are you sure?', and a direct answer of yes given again. It was just might be a simple answer to a stupid question, but when the question is asked is serious, the simple yes become my strength for a simple friendship. To be honest, I'm so proud. No body ever give a direct YES to that question, haha. At least I know there's a person who willing to learn about ME. Hehe.

Fact #3 : Close your ears

So, life is just a simple breathe taking journey. Expect the unexpected, live life to the fullest and sky's is the limit. Somehow, I was wondering of how far can I go with you? How sad I am in a situation of you taking that path and I'm taking mine and everything. Each of you played your part in this life and each of your part impacted my life so much. YES, I love you. I admit that sometimes I might be crossing the line too much, but, everybody crossed the limit right? So, it just become the topic of the day before everyone forget about it when the new HOT things spread out.

Look at the picture below, am I so innocent?

P/S : Picture is damn nice, but my pose is so damn embarrassing. Special 'Thank You' for the photographer, Mr Mustaza.

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Monday, September 28, 2009

Was it to late?


With all the fun that come around us every single seconds, sometimes we did forget that we just only a human being that live in this round of time. We did live our life to the fullest and so on we have to admit that sometimes we will have to cry. Isn't that a sin to say that I will never cry and I can face my fate and accept my destiny with a smile on my lips? CAN YOU?

The story that I want to tell is wasn't about me, it just about my very good friend that enjoying his life so much until he forgot that time will get him back. It's like the final destination movie which is the fate is haunting you forever. Is that correct?

I do not blaming my friend for what have happened but I'm totally disappointed with him. For sure, I as a friend remind him every single time of what he should do and don't in work related issue. But, I'm being ignored. The result is happened to be is when his superior come and met me to give the termination letter. What the hell that I've been involved in this matter? I'm totally out of topic. I dare to say that I'm doing fine in my work but just because I'm close to you, I'm not supposed to be involve in.

No offense but I'm totally embarrassed.

I questioned my self, which part of the things that I've done is wrong? Which part of this story is inaccurate? Did the fate changed or it was just following the path of destiny?

And I'm unable to answer a single thing of that question.

I'm so blank until I decided to drive alone around MRR2 and thinking, are you a GOOD FRIEND? Just tell me. I dare to know.

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

La'Familia in Fraser's Hill


Just went for a little team bonding with my previous team in Fraser's Hill. Didn't managed to have all of the picture yet, but I think this is the best one. Picture said a thousand words right?

I'll update you guys once I have all of the 'best-shoot'. Take care.

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Third half of September

Which part of life that you dare to said that you totally understand?

Are you just manipulating it same as you manipulate my feelings towars you?

Damn I hate you so much.

Why me?

Or, is it just me that being so over-reacting?

I was so confuse.

Totally confuse.

I need your help.

Tell me the truth.

PLEASE! I dare to know.

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Sunday, September 13, 2009

A Story From Inside A Picture


Courtesy from Rosimah Manan

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My Love : Prologue


To be honest, now I'm really-really blurred. I don't know which path should I choose. Is that makes any sense? Or it just some sort of humor that I've created to entertain my emptiness or loneliness?

I'm really-really happy to meet you my dear. It just some feeling that words never can tell. I love you with all of my heart and I don't think you're realizing it. For all that you've done to me was much appreciated. You've taught me everything and to be honest I've become a better person than before. I've learned from my mistakes which other never dare to tell but you.

It was just one sweet evening when I started to talk with you. I still can remember that moment of how brave I can become if I want to have something. Fighting and protecting. My nerve was never slowing down to the normal pulse when it come into you. Might be because of my previous experience, I've started to protect my self also. To be more secure and become more stabilized.

End of prologue.

P/S : I still remember your sweet smile.

Note : Picture taken from

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Saturday, September 12, 2009

Eye Direction


When Rosimah tough me about the skill of taking picture, one part of her words that I always remind me of the art of taking picture is try to look in the different way. At that moment I wasn't really understand the meaning but it just keep on rewinding inside my mind. Until the moment I stuck inside the mass friday trafic jammed, I then understood what she mean of. It just doesn't matter of how great you are in the art of taking picture, people might adore your skills and picture but I actually admired of how you can see the 'view' of others and adapt it inside the picture.

Here two picture that I've took while playing with my SonyEricsson K660i phone. How was it?

Might be because of my previous experience I've actually started to planned my future. To be secure and to be known. Some of you might asking why I'm doing this and that for the sake of nothing, just remember that everything doesn't need a reason but every reason has it own price. It just something precious that you don't understand or named the value. It called experience.

Everything just so confusing and unacceptable this passed few days. To be honest that I'm so down and I really-really want to fix some mistakes and error. But how could I? How could this person who doesn't have much self-confident change the way of circle of life rotate? How could this mice can fix the bundle of cheese?

Let me tell you something, somehow, it just what people said 'just follow the flow'.

Once you're there, you'll find the answer. Fullstop.

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Sunday, September 06, 2009

15th Day To Go ...


My housemate and I had a little talk about this coming Hari Raya either I'm going back to my hometown. Well, for some of you who have been with me on the previous Hari Raya, you'll know the answer that I'll be spending my Hari Raya in the office or might be in some shopping complex.

Anyway, this is my third Hari Raya away from home. Feel like nothing. But, to be honest, I missed home so much. Since DiGi already activating 3G services to all of the staff, so I think this Hari Raya I just have to make sure that my mummy and daddy in 3G coverage area for me to call them and have a chit chat all day long. Not like previous year that I've to spend my time in front of my little laptop and my mummy and daddy have to learn of how to use Yahoo! Messenger. Poor them being forced to learn new technology by the first son. Hehe.

With all of you as a withness, I'll be back home early this December with my new baby Canon EOS 40D.

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Friday, September 04, 2009

ABC easy as 123...


I'm in a process of learning. What if the learning process stop suddenly?

What is your feeling? Which path will you take after this?

Life wasn't always a sweet memory after all. One day you'll be happy and the next day I can see there is a tears on your eyes. I can feel the sadness because this is not the first time I've experience it.

This story is actually about the contract renewal. It's either you'll granted another year or they just terminated it. It's just so sad to see everyone around you that are not getting their contact renewal and the next day you know that they will not sit beside you and work together. Is that fair? Sometimes it isn't. I felt like I wasn't good enough to give my attention and push them to their limit. Somehow, it wasn't my decisions and I can't make the decision for them.

Where is the mistakes? Am I to soft enough or it's just them that too confortable with their life? Wasn't there any second chance for them to improve?

I'm gonna missed the moment, to see all of you laughing and enjoying our work.

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Thursday, September 03, 2009

I'm too afraid to fall again


Few days back, I’ve learned that few things that I’m unable to take control on it. It wasn’t a very difficult task, but it just a simple dimple thingy about life and people around you. Might be I’m just to rush and was unable to understand the meaning of WAITING. Was it a fact of life that be safe and go slow? Was it worth to spend your time to wait for someone that might not realize the purest of your heart?

I’m not blaming anyone or myself. I’m just frustrated. I just feel so wrong to met and be in the society that I love the most. Being a newbies, trying to make everyone happy but to realized that everyone are not confortable with me. It’s just like humiliating myself without realizing it. Soon after I know that I’m wrongly take the wrong path again, it was just to late. People already have the second tought, but not as I wish it to be.

I ask myself but I couldn’t get the answer that satisfied me. It just so not right. What would you feel when suddenly you’ve realized that you put your heart and hope to someone that couldn’t make it come true?

I am too afraid to fall again. I’m too scared to cry again. I realized being lonely wasn’t the things that I wish for but is it a mistakes to be a person full with hope? I know that people will say that don’t be so high in the sky because nothing can be describe like the pain when you’re falling down. Do not put your hope, don’t just wait and be like a statue on the side of the road, being admired but in the end you’re just all alone. But why actually people have to depend on each other if in the end we’re all alone?

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Monday, August 31, 2009

Happy Independence Malaysia


Happy Independence Day everyone.

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Sunday, August 30, 2009

A little to MUCH


I don’t really know what happened to me this passed few days. Was it because of some unexpected things going on, or it is just me that being to emotional. I wasn’t happy about it, because it just not affecting me but also others. I’m sorry guys. It’s just I wasn’t really-really happy for the ‘THING’ that going on.

Somehow, I’m feeling that I want to run away and being childish once again. Being someone who really fear to face the destiny. Blaming others for what ever cause that happen and forget about it as the mistakes was not raised by me. Was it my mistakes for every things that happened? Was it wrong for every single decisions that I’ve choose? What if this things never happened? What if I never be so strong to face this destiny?

To be fair, I actually regretting for every decision that I’ve make. Learned from mistakes. Yeah, but did I? I’m really-really confuse but still I’m being normal these day. Laughing and making fun with everybody but deep in my heart, I am crying. I don’t know why did I cry. For this destiny? No. For what ever happened? No. I just wish for everything to be just nice, following the path that I really-really want. But will everyone happy for every single happy thing that I achieve?

Somehow, things happened already. It’s really-really hurt.

What did went wrong?

I really-really wished that I can ran away. And leave all the problem behind. I must admit that I am really-really scared to face tomorrow. I’m scared. I’m so scared.

To face or not to face, to be brave or just ran away?


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Saturday, August 29, 2009



I don't know which part of the story I should begin. But, nevermind. As long as I can reach the root of the story would be fine. But, basically, what will I write now? Might be it just because of my boring lifestyle, or its just me that don't know how to enjoy.

Normal people know what should they do this hours, but me, other that browsing through my facebook and sometimes blogging, I don't have any single things to do. Can you 'IMAGINE' that? Life that I've claimed so glamorous and extraordinary but actually ended up in my little room and in front of my little lappy. I actually imagining that I can go back to my night life, hanky panky thingy, minum-minum at mamak..

I realized then that I don't have a life other than facebooking and blogging. I need to change before it's too late and people will claimed that I am a nerdy. I suddenly remember when I'm pointing to others that they don't have the 'INTERESTING' life but then I am the one who doesn't. Gosh, this have to stop! I need a changes! I need a welcome back party to the world that I've used to.

Like Christopher said, get a life!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Picture By Me : The Phone Camera

I accidentally browsed picture folder on my phone when I found out that I've a lot of 'unrevealed' picture. Would like to share with you the picture that I've take. Do remember the advise; picture was taken by my Sony Ericsson K660i only.

Actually and to be honest, I'm not feeling like want to post this picture for the society to know. But,since I feel that it's useless to keep it in my personal folder, it's better for me to share it to everyone aite? Just enjoy the picture, and do share with me your personal opinion.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

On Duty and The Ramadhan Bazaar

I was working today from 9.15am until 5.15pm. It's kinda funny because I managed not to fall asleep while entertaining the rediculous request from the precious customer. I was thinking, I'm on fasting and for sure I didn't take any food today, I feel so energetic even though it already about 24 hours I'm not sleeping.

Yeah, this homesick thingy will only come once in a while, just during the long term break and not very normal. It feels very strange to have this feeling, but how can I denied it? I've been borned and was living there, being around them. It's just a need, that I can't. I just can't.

Meanwhile, this is the picture when I'm looking for a parking at Sri Permaisuri Ramadhan Bazar

I'm a little bit cursing while I'm trying to go to the 1st day of Ramadhan Bazaar. Somehow, I forgot that I'm fasting and the things that I've done will decrease my 'rewards' for today. But, can you just imagine of how to be in the centre of society which every single of the having one point to go. What are they are thinking?

Being sick of that situation, I decided to park my car somewhere quite far. Which will makes me walk for about 10 minutes.

I want to go around the bazaar but soon to find out that the crowded was not like I expect. I managed to find the first shop that selling the sugarcane juice and fried mee. Spending as less that I can, I went back home. Leaving behind the life that are newly created soon after the Ramadhan month started.

I'm looking forward to breaking fast with my friends.

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On The First Day Of Ramadhan


I've to agree with my friend, Shah for this feelings on the early days of Ramadhan. Might be because I'm all alone here and not beside my family on the first day of this fasting month. How sad to hear my colleague celebrating it with their parents and family, while I'm just celebrating is with my little laptop.

Should I mention fasting as 'celebrating'?

This time is the third years I fasting here in KL. Should be I used to be with this feelings. Or am I homesick actually?

For the past few days was a tough days for me. Wish that today and the day forward will be more easier and I can have back my strength to get through this sadness of homesick feeling.

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Friday, August 21, 2009

Song Of The Day : Melly Goeslow - Bimbang

This is one of my favourite song. Do take your time, and enjoy the words as it touched me deep down into my heart. Enjoy!

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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Picture By Me


This pictures was taken by Rosimah's Canon EOS 450D. Enjoy!

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