Irwan received his Astro bill just now, which has an advertisement regarding Astro packages. He then asked me to open the Astro's website and look for the price to subcribe some another package, which makes me interested and asked him to add another few channel that I'm interested with and willing to pay for him for any additional charges. He rejected. He said only me will watch that channel but not one else will do. So what? I'm the one who will pay the amount and I'm expecting that I can watch and enjoy my moment.
I just remained in silence but wishing that I have my own TV and Astro which I can watch the channel that I'm in love with and no one to interupt my session just to watch some stupid Hollywood or Malaysian artist story for their succesful life. FYI, at the moment, Astro subcription at my house only to have the basic packages, education channel and entertainment, which I only interested to watch the education channels. For some how, I missed the moment that I watch the news channel and also the sport in the middle of the night at my home in Sabah.
Just before that I was very hyper and laughing but now I'm very down and moody. I've no mood to talk or do anything else but keep on surfing to find another good story to read, imagining that I can watch my favourite channel on my precious laptop. I ended up on bed, sleepy but I can't sleep because I'm so disappointed and angry before I decided to type this blog. At this point, I realized that I'm just no one, my opinion are not needed as MONEY is everything. If you have your power, money and the thing is under your name, than you are the one who decide what will happen with that thing. You are the person in charged and no one can ever raised their 'unhappy' feeling for what ever. FUCK!!
I really-really wish that I have my own TV, my own Astro and my own PS2 so that I didn't have any reason for any disappointment. I can do what ever I want to do and done every single thing that I want it to be done. No one can interupt my quality time. But, for some point I understand that the way of my life was being on this path because God know how much I can't satisfied my self for everything that I desire to have and I've to learned that nothing can be change if I'm still on the same old way.
So, from now on, I've my own target and mission. Just wait, I'll make sure that I'm satisfied. I'll change and I'll do anything because society told me to do so. Just beware because my wish just had been granted.